SAN NARCISO, Calif. -- Toward the end of World War II in 1945, the Stueve family of California founded Alta Dena Dairy. Throughout the 1950s, it earned a reputation as one of the most innovative farms with its line of healthy choices in dairy products. Today, thousands of consumers in Southern California continue to have milk and other products delivered directly to their homes by Alta Dena. The heritage and ongoing presence of the “milkman” is something the dairy honors and proudly promotes:

Chances are, you’ve never seen him. In fact, you may think he’s no more than a quaint myth from a simpler time. But the truth is, the good, old-fashioned milkman still exists.


We’ve been delivering tasty, healthy foods to homes just like yours for over 50 years. With just a phone call, you can join our 30,000 satisfied customers and make your life a little easier.

But today, Alta Dena’s public relations team faced an unexpected backlash of community outrage for which it has spent more time milking forgiveness than cows. The issue stems from a typographical error that appeared in the logo on 20 milk trucks in Alta Dena’s new fleet and on the company’s Web site.



Spokesperson Samantha Risgard told the press, “I’m not making excuses, but dairy farms are not Wall Street brokerages. Agricultural laborers are predominantly less educated and less skilled than those in corporate environments. Many are immigrants. We’ve been calling for Congress to address the nation’s immigration and guest-worker laws, but 2009 and 2010 passed without reform. Now, the workers who learned English under our programs have been deported by the DHS. All we have left are native Californians, most of whom are suburban Caucasians. Given the condition of the state’s school systems and, pardon my assessment, the lazy nature of these kinds of workers, we find ourselves left with a labor force that is virtually illiterate. So this is what happens.”

The unprecedented 44-percent turnover in Alta Dena’s marketing department, caused by I9 and deportation issues, has forced the dairy to operate with a skeleton crew of inexperienced graduates from local universities and colleges. Risgard admitted that many of them failed their typing tests and submitted incoherent job applications.

“They were struggling visibly to grasp the complexities of written English,” Risgard noted. “I mean, you could see the frustration and confusion in their faces. You’d think they’d never held a pen or read a book before this. But we needed people, and these were the best we could find.”

As a result, the following update appeared on the company’s Web site early this week: “The Milf Man exists and he continues to serve your milf needs! He works through the wee hours of the morning, delivering farm-fresh milf on doorsteps all over town.”

All 20 of the delivery trucks advertised “Fresh Milf!”

Across every Southern California region served by Alta Dena, angry teens, middle-aged men and some state legislators woke before dawn and lined the streets of their neighborhoods to await the arrival of the promised milfs. When the delivery trucks distributed only milk, cheese and yogurt, riots ensued.

The entire male populations of San Narciso, Riverside, Pasadena, Long Beach and Fullerton, Calif., have filed class action suits against Alta Dena for false advertising. Court dates have yet to be scheduled.