CAIRO, Egypt -- Flared tensions have turned to widespread chaos with a throng of Egyptians calling for the ouster of 82-year-old...
Monday, January 31, 2011
Federal Judge Roger Vinson Also Rules Mandatory Insurance Unconstitutional
PENSACOLA, Fla. -- In December 2010, Judge Henry E. Hudson of the Federal District Court in Richmond, Va., struck down...
Friday, January 28, 2011
Sociologist Defends Tracy Morgan by Proving Sarah Palin is Masturbation Material
SAN NARCISO, Calif. -- TNT has released an apology for Tracy Morgan’s reference to Sarah Palin as a sex object on last...
Thursday, January 27, 2011
PETA Applauds Taco Bell’s Efforts to Eliminate Meat from Its Food
IRVINE, Calif. -- Think outside the bun? According to a lawsuit filed by a California woman, Taco Bell is thinking outside...
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
WikiLeaks Says DHS Plans to Ban Popular Angry Birds Video Game
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- According to news from insiders at WikiLeaks, officials within the Department of Homeland Security...
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Reported Rise in Autism Coincides with Rise in Autism Treatment Drugs
SAN NARCISO, Calif. -- According to figures released by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), autism disorders...
Friday, January 21, 2011
Comcast Fires Keith Olbermann from MSNBC
NEW YORK, N.Y. -- Keith Olbermann, MSNBC’s most successful and controversial personality, whose outspoken prime-time show...
V for Victory or W for Walmart? DHS Contracts Megastore to Help Fight Terrorism
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Department of Homeland Security (DHS) Secretary Janet Napolitano has announced the expansion of the...
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Katy Perry Admits "I Kissed a Girl" About Husband Russell Brand
LOS ANGELES, Calif. -- Singer Katy Perry and British comedian Russell Brand shocked fans with their fast track to marriage...
Sociologists Urge Americans to Stay the Hell Away from Alaska
SAN NARCISO, Calif. -- Since learning of Phil Harris’ death last year, sociologists from San Narciso College have...
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Outraged Alabamians Accuse Newly Elected Governor Robert Bentley of Incest, Call for Impeachment
Photo courtesy the Associated Press
MONTGOMERY, Ala. -- Governor Robert Bentley, who has been in office for only three...
Monday, January 17, 2011
San Narciso Police Remind Residents To Celebrate Martin Luther King Jr. Day Safely
SAN NARCISO COUNTY PUBLIC SAFETY ANNOUNCEMENT -- The San Narciso Police Department is reminding residents to observe today’s...
Saturday, January 15, 2011
One Year Later, Royal Caribbean’s Educational “How the Other Half Live” Cruises to Haiti Still Going Strong
LABADEE, Haiti -- There’s an old Haitian proverb: “Behind the mountains, there are mountains.” Behind those mountains are...
Friday, January 14, 2011
Amid Rumors of Cross Dressing, Alleged Ex-Girlfriend Calls Kelsey Grammer a “Scat Freak”
BEVERLY HILLS, Calif. -- Kelsey and Camille Grammer’s 13-year marriage came to an abrupt end this July when Kelsey announced...
Announcement of New Astrological Signs Causes Area Man to Abandon “Life of Lies” and Family
SAN NARCISO, Calif. -- The next time a middle-aged barfly scoots over and asks about your sign, you may have to google...
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Palin Says “Blood Libel” Comments Directed at TLC Jews Who Canceled Her Show
WASILIA, Alaska -- Sarah Palin, who had been noticeably silent since the Tucson shootings, published an impassioned denunciation...
David Nelson Dies, Tony Dow Taken into Protective Custody
CENTURY CITY, Calif. -- David Nelson, who essentially played himself as the eldest* child in the iconic American television...
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Police Warn Residents of Man Impersonating Gas Company Employee
SAN NARCISO, Calif. -- Police are warning San Narciso County residents to be on the lookout for a person who has been impersonating...
Monday, January 10, 2011
Judge Brings Hammer Down on “The Hammer” Tom DeLay
AUSTIN, Texas -- As one political stalwart takes up the hammer as Speaker of the House, another “Hammer” sees the hammer...
Sunday, January 9, 2011
"Come See the Violence Inherent in the System!" Fred Phelps Praises God for Giffords Shooting
EDITORIAL -- I’ve been proud to have scooped the Reverend Fred Phelps of the Westboro Baptist Church on several occasions....
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Rare Democrat Congresswoman in Arizona Shot During Rally
TUCSON, Ariz. -- More violence swept through Arizona this morning with a second high-profile shooting. After a leading...
Disgraced Hollister Co. Executive Shot Dead by Arizona Police
NOGALES, Ariz. -- The Southern California headquarters of Abercrombie & Fitch, which owns the Hollister brand, issued...
Friday, January 7, 2011
Keenen Ivory Wayans and Every Other Celebrity in the World Dead
Wayans discusses his death today with friends.
SAN NARCISO, Calif. -- According to a breaking story on Twitter, Keenen...
Thursday, January 6, 2011
David Lynch Slated to Direct John Edwards Biopic
LOS ANGELES, Calif. -- More trouble for John Edwards surfaced this week when it was revealed that his estranged wife, Elizabeth...
Disturbing Tom Cruise Scientology Ritual Captured on Video
SAN NARCISO, Calif. -- A group of private investigators and surveillance experts, all former employees of Few and Shue...
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
New Speaker Boehner Tearfully Accepts Gavel, Robert Gibbs Plans Resignation
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- They say that when one door closes, another opens. Such was the case in Washington today as White House...
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Alien TV Signal Scare Linked to Advanced Terrestrial Civilization
SAN NARCISO, Calif. -- This past weekend, local cable television provider RJ Fletcher Communications received numerous...
Monday, January 3, 2011
Thousands of Dead Blackbirds Fall on Arkansas as Part of Movie Advertising Stunt
Photo courtesy of MSNBC
BEEBE, Ark. -- Terror rained down from the skies on Friday over the sleepy Arkansas town of Beebe,...
iPhone Alarm Problem Brings Ailing U.S. Economy to Standstill
SAN NARCISO, Calif. -- A bug discovered in Apple iPhones and iPod Touch devices kept alarms from sounding, while archaic...
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