Perhaps it’s no coincide that the final episode of Oprah Winfrey’s long-running, eponymous talk show will fall in line with Earth’s final days. Winfrey’s often been credited as a spiritual woman with friends in high places. But with the guest list cloaked in mystery, fans are asking more dire questions about whom Oprah Winfrey will be parading out to meet them at the End of Days. Based on a Google News search conducted Tuesday afternoon at 2:40 p.m. PDT, the answer could be more disturbing than imagined. Should Oprah supporters worry that the Number of the Beast was revealed in the article counts pertaining to her last show?

(c) 2011. All stories are works of satire and parody.