Seventy-five Percent of Nation Mourns Loss of New Deal (1933 - 2011)

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WASHINGTON, D.C. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Flags will be flown half staff today at the FDR Monument and Capitol Dome in remembrance of the New Deal, which died on August 2, 2011. With the termination of most government funded programs, memorial services will not be held, although private ceremonies are encouraged. Visit the White House website for a list of major retailers, including Walmart and Big Lots, that are selling specialty “RIP New Deal” items for your parties.

(c) 2011. All stories are works of satire and parody.