LOS ANGELES, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- According to entertainment sources Tuesday, down-and-out starlet Lindsay Lohan was spotted entering a Beverly Hills mansion, reportedly the site of a risque photo shoot. Insiders later verified that the secretive gig was for a nude pictorial to appear in a future issue of Playboy. One reporter specializing in celebrity goings-on stated that Lohan was indeed prepared to flash more than just her sallow teeth and bloodshot peepers: “She’s not getting any acting work, and there’s no way she can keep up with her soaring bail amounts. Her father was also arrested today, so the family’s coffers are going to be drained faster than a 40-ounce Pabst within reach of Lindsay’s coke crusted fingernails. Hefner’s people have been approaching her since she did that Herbie film. This was inevitable.”

Initial reports suggested Lohan would receive a million dollar fee for stripping down before the legendary magazine’s army of Photoshop technicians. A friend close to Lohan confirmed the payment amount, but clarified that Lindsay had not planned the shoot nor been approached officially: “Yes, Lindsay was handed a check for one million dollars after the shoot, but it shocked the hell out of her. She had no idea going in that it was for Playboy. I mean, some guy pulled up in a nice ride and asked to see her naked. You might call it weird; we call it Tuesday. But she was like super excited to find out the guy was with Playboy and that they were willing to give her money. I’m proud of Lilo. She’s really becoming more responsible. Like, now when strangers want to see her cooter, they’re gonna have to pay for it.”

(c) 2011. See disclaimers.