BREAKING NEWS

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

LA Police Mobilize to Clear Occupy LA Protesters, Area Rapists Grateful for the Break

LOS ANGELES, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- In the early hours of Wednesday morning, more than 1,400...

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Amid Ginger White Scandal, Herman Cain Reassesses Campaign but Vows to Reach Out and Tap Female Base Harder than Ever

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Embattled presidential hopeful Herman Cain told his staffers...

Monday, November 28, 2011

Area Mayor Authorizes Use of Deadly Force Against Occupy Protesters, Citing Internal Terrorism

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Although the mayor’s office released a public apology Friday...

Friday, November 25, 2011

Hundreds of Shoppers Pepper-sprayed After Police Confuse ‘Black Friday’ Campers with Occupy Protesters

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) --Horror befell the suburban serenity of Bennington Vale late...

Civil Rights Demonstrators Trampled to Death in ‘Black Friday’ Misunderstanding

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Five members of a small and sometimes militant African American...

Area Historians Discover Thanksgiving Day Also Origin of American Penal Tradition

“The first feast, so to speak, may also have been the nation’s first Last Meal.” -- Abel Wharfinger SAN NARCISO, Calif....

Thursday, November 24, 2011

President Obama’s Thanksgiving Day Pardon Decried by GOP as Blatant Abuse of Power

WASHINGTON, D.C. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Republicans cried foul after President Obama held a press conference...

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Musical Re-imagining of ‘Miracle on 34th Street’ Opens Today for Second Annual Run

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Today begins the second annual performance of The Tank Players’...

Monday, November 21, 2011

Ironic Herman Cain Gaffe Imperils ‘Pizza as Vegetable’ Budget Control Measure

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Last week, Congress incurred the ire of food activists, conscientious...

Friday, November 18, 2011

Moscow University Researchers Apologize for False Report of Lost Tolstoy Novel

MOSCOW, Russia (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Researchers at Lomonosov Moscow State University reported Thursday...

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Demi Moore and Her Camera Salesman Husband Announce Divorce Plans

LOS ANGELES, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Actress Demi Moore and her husband Ashton Kutcher, a commercial...

Get Off My Lawn! John McCain Predicts Rise of Third Political Party

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- In 2008, then presidential candidate John McCain alluded...

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

‘Atlas Shrugged’ Film Producers Replace 100,000 DVDs Filled with Countless Errors

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Atlas Productions, the company behind the film adaptation...

Monday, November 14, 2011

Passengers and FAA Officials Outraged at Alaska Airlines ‘Knocking on Heaven’s Door’ Campaign

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Several Alaska Airlines travelers were shocked to open their...

Friday, November 11, 2011

Occupy Protest Movement Claims Life in San Narciso County

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- The small but steadily blooming Occupy San Narciso movement...

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Penn State Board of Trustees Fires Joe Paterno; ‘Sick and Tired’ of Him Attracting Child Molesters, Liars and Rioters to the School

“It’s not about the terrible things these other people did, it’s about what Joe Paterno didn’t do.” -- PSU Board of Trustees STATE...

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Harry Potter Day at Disneyland Turns Hope to Tears with the Wave of a Wand

ANAHEIM, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- This past Sunday, November 6, marked the fifth unofficial Harry...

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Jerry Sandusky’s Literary Agent Sues Sexual Abuse Victims for Copyright Infringement over Memoir with Same Title as Sandusky Autobiography

STATE COLLEGE, Pa. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Joe Paterno’s nearly half-century career as head coach of...

Monday, November 7, 2011

Catholic Church to Modernize Translation of Mass with “Intercontinental Missal 3.0”

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- By November 27, Catholic parishes in English speaking countries...

Friday, November 4, 2011

Catholic Paper Claims Devil Controls Homosexual Attraction but Apparently Not Child Molestation

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- The nation’s oldest Roman Catholic newspaper has riled gay...

Texas Woman Pleads Guilty to Executing Six-Year-Old Criminal

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- A woman from Irving, Texas, accused of killing her 6-year-old...

Deadly Asteroid Hurtles Toward Earth as Black President Struggles with Economy, Film Loving Scientists Very Worried

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- An enormous asteroid known by astronomers as 2005 YU 55 will...

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Man Accused of Hacking Phones of Scarlett Johansson and Other Celebs Says He Was Simply Interviewing for News International Job

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- A 35-year-old man from Jacksonville, Fla., was charged Tuesday...

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Ultrasound of Testicular Tumor Reveals Image of Man’s Face

Photo courtesy of Urology SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- A local attorney, Randy Cowlmouse,...
 
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