BREAKING NEWS

Friday, March 23, 2012

George Zimmerman Body Count Rises in Florida, Still No Arrest

SANFORD, Fla. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Following George Zimmerman's Feb. 26 killing of 17-year-old Trayvon Martin, who threatened him with a bag of Skittles, authorities let the armed neighborhood watch captain walk free, citing the state's "Stand Your Ground Law" of self-defense. On Thursday, Zimmerman strengthened his case by invoking what legal insiders have named the "Skittle's Defense." Zimmerman is just one of many victims who displayed the courage to leverage the protection of the sweeping Florida law, which posits that a belligerent and predatory offense is a heck of a defense. One Florida official explained that "Mr. Zimmerman was so frightened of what Trayvon Martin might do with his bag of Skittles, he hunted him down like a three-legged dog with arthritis and butchered him on the street corner. That's the power of fear. Fight or flight. Zimmerman did what any of us would've in the same situation."

On Friday afternoon, Zimmerman made headlines once again by killing two more people in Sanford who frightened him half to death. Again, police did not have enough evidence to make an arrest. Among Zimmerman's latest assailants were a disabled senior citizen and a mime.

Zimmerman came across the elderly woman around 11:00 a.m. He described her as agitated, "out of her mind dangerous" and wielding some kind of four-bladed "oriental weapon." Witnesses refuted Zimmerman's account, alleging that the senior had been screaming at a cab that sped through the crosswalk in front of her. The weapon, they said, was her orthopedic walker, which she yanked from the path of car. Zimmerman, consumed with fear and armed with a concealed .9-millimeter firearm, dispatched the woman with five rounds.

Two hours later, Zimmerman emptied his gun into the face of a street performer. He told officers arriving on scene: "I nearly crapped myself when I saw him coming. I mean, he didn't have Skittles, but he was dressed like a clown. Child molesters dress like that. Then -- and you won't believe this -- he took out an invisible rope and started inching toward me. I yelled at him to stand down, and I displayed my weapon. But he kept coming. Next thing I know, he throws the invisible rope around my waist and tries to pull me into this little invisible box he'd just escaped from. I didn't know what else to do, so I shot him. Used the whole damn clip, man. What was I supposed to do?"

Police said they had no reason to doubt Zimmerman's testimony or perceived threat to his safety. After four minutes of routine questioning, Zimmerman was allowed to go.

"He was pretty shaken up," one officer said. "But he wasn't looking for trouble. Last I saw him, he was heading into the Walmart to buy some more ammo."

Zimmerman also noted that the woman was "some kind of Spanish" and the mime was "white all over," demonstrating that his murder of Trayvon Martin was not racially motivated.

(c) 2012. See disclaimers.

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