SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- California congresswoman Zoe Lofgren (D-San Jose) has pulled out all the stops to defend America's growing population of technology criminals. Citing the need for new legislation, she proposed a bill to introduce "Aaron's Law," which would allow people to break the Terms of Service used by online paid service providers without any legal repercussions. Most online providers require consumers to agree to what were once binding terms and conditions, designed to protect their intellectual property. The namesake and basis for this new law, which would essentially amend the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act, is Aaron Swartz, a young man who recently committed suicide while under indictment by the federal government for wire and computer fraud. The federal government invoked the CFAA as the basis for Swartz's indictment.

Aaron Swartz took his own life at the tender age of 26. A statement from his family and his partner called Swartz's death "not simply a personal tragedy. It is the product of a criminal justice system rife with intimidation and prosecutorial overreach."

Because the family seems to blame the government for Aaron's demise, they believe the only solution is to stop the law that gave the government the ability to prosecute.

Aaron Swartz was accused of stealing science and literary journals from MIT's network through a paid service called JSTOR. The JSTOR website had this message of condolence posted on its main page: "We are deeply saddened to hear the news about Aaron Swartz. We extend our heartfelt condolences to Aaron's family, friends, and everyone who loved, knew, and admired him. He was a truly gifted person who made important contributions to the development of the internet and the web from which we all benefit."

Congresswoman Zoe Lofgren fired back at JSTOR, accusing the service of being disingenuous.

"If JSTOR was really repentant," she said, "they'd give all the information Aaron was trying to steal away for free."

She added that "what we really need is a world where there are no laws to hold us back from doing what we want. This is the essence of our libertarian government. Especially on the Internet, where true freedom should reign."

When asked to clarify her definition of "true freedom," Lofgren responded: "The freedom to do whatever we want, whenever we want, wherever we want. I think as a society we can all agree that individual freedom is greater than the whole. I'm surprised conservatives don't agree. If it weren't true, Ayn Rand wouldn't continue to be held up as one of world's foremost literary geniuses, philosophers, and 20th century sex symbols."

Well known local conservative and former presidential candidate F. Chester Greene, who has not yet conceded President Obama's election victory, chimed in on the debate with the announcement of his own law.

"As usual, Democrats and other socialists out there, especially the liberal media machine, are trying to obfuscate the real problem here," Greene opined. "I'm surprised they didn't attack the NRA, since the guy blew his head off. In my opinion, he was just as likely to kill himself for being a homosexual as for any other reason. That's the real problem, isn't it? Homosexuality? Not guns, not the free market, not copyright laws, or service contracts. It's the gay agenda again, ladies and gentlemen. Which is why I want to submit a new law that I'm also calling "Aaron's Law," based not on this gay young villain who didn't have the character to face the charges for the crimes he committed but on the Old Testament Aaron. The law will make it a crime to be gay, punishable by death. Just as the good book dictates. I think this poncy criminal keystroker, Aaron Swartz, likely felt the sting of his conscience and, after a close reading of the Bible, came to the only conclusion that made sense: to kill himself."

In response to a question regarding the correlation between Swartz's sexual orientation and the crime for which he was indicted, Greene said Aaron and other homosexuals were "all deviants -- the whole, so-called gay and lesbian community. Breaking the law is second nature to them, right behind sodomy. They're trying to steal the institution of marriage, they're trying to steal family benefits, they're trying to steal our culture and fashion, and like immigrants, they're trying to steal our jobs. Some part of me wonders if the information Swartz pilfered from MIT wasn't part of a larger plan to provide strategically compromising heterosexual intelligence to the terrorists who are masterminding the gay rebellion. The most conservative thing this Aaron kid ever did was use a gun to kill himself."

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