SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- A controversial bill about religious freedom, signed by Indiana Governor Mike Pence, provoked national outcry from civil liberties advocates and drew harsh criticism against the Midwestern state. The law is reminiscent of Arizona’s discriminatory Senate Bill 1062, and also allows business owners with strongly held religious beliefs to refuse service to gays and lesbians. Pence defended his Religious Freedom Restoration Act (SEA 101) as a means to protect the religious freedoms of Christian-based enterprises. As most people know, the wealthy and powerful evangelical Christian community that runs the country has fallen under attack in recent years by a growing number of hysterical socialists who want to curb that community’s right to exercise its practice of bigotry and intolerance -- a fundamental U.S. freedom. But Gov. Pence claims that the law’s detractors have grossly misunderstood its reach. “The bill doesn’t discriminate against gays, that’s a false assessment and a narrow view of its scope; it discriminates against all groups of people that Christians hate,” he snapped during a recent press conference.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- San Narciso County ushered in St. Patrick’s Day 2015 with yet another controversy, prompting Mayor Manny DiPresso to add this holiday to a growing list of celebrations that council members may soon abolish. In 2011, the festivities were overshadowed by an inflammatory speech given by a theology student, in which St. Patrick was accused of being a church assassin sent to destroy the polytheistic culture of Ireland. Tensions further escalated when the Catholic Church attempted to prohibit gays from marching in the parade. At that time, Father Preternature -- who presides over the county’s only Catholic congregation -- defended his decision, saying, “First off, [homosexuals] already have their own parade. Second, St. Patrick’s Day is a religious holiday, not an ideological movement.” Preternature enraged the mayor’s office for implying that gays had infiltrated the community. This Monday, Preternature again found himself cross with the law after parents summoned Child Protective Services to a children’s pageant he produced called “St. Patrick Beats the Naughty Snakes from Ireland’s Trousers.”