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SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Donald Trump’s annual Halloween soiree, despite the hype, turned out to be a “dull and insipid” affair, according to most attendees. Partygoers had expected a lavish seasonal fete, bustling with celebrities adorned in creative and surprising costumes. And although the gathering offered the finest foods and libations, not to mention a garish spectacle of decorations that featured portraits of Trump groping weirdly fetishized jack-o’-lanterns, guests said they felt underwhelmed. As one reporter observed, “We expected a crazy assortment of wild outfits, but it was so dull and unoriginal. Everyone dressed up as ghosts. Yawn, right?”

The lackluster event marked another sign of waning support for the Republican presidential candidate. Trump had diverted over a million dollars of campaign funds into the masquerade to ensure its success, but the results fell flat of expectations. Organizers blamed the failure on a lack of diversity in the guests’ costume choices.

However, not every person at the party considered the heterogeneous attire unremarkable. Trump representatives noted that food service, custodial and maintenance personnel appeared horrified by the revelers. Shortly after the final guests had arrived, they added, most of the catering staff and all the janitorial workers fled the celebration, screaming in terror.

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