SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- The peace of a sleepy winter Sunday in Quebec was jarred by gunfire when Alexandre Bissonnette, 27, walked into a mosque and unleashed a hail of bullets. Six people were killed and eight injured. Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau branded the tragedy an act of terrorism. As the New York Times reported, “The shooting was the first time anyone had been killed in a mosque in Canada in such circumstances and was, at least in recent times, a rare event outside the Muslim world.” Bissonnette, according to former classmates, was a far-right, anti-Muslim, anti-immigrant and anti-feminist white supremacist who was enthralled with U.S. President Donald Trump. In honoring his commitment to protect Americans from terrorists, Trump expanded his travel ban on Tuesday to include all white, radical, foreign Trump supporters until “we figure out what the hell is going on.”

All Radical Terrorists Are Muslim, Including Extremist Christians

People who monitor far-right extremist websites in Quebec knew of Bissonnette and his tendency to post rants opposing immigration and Islam. But it is not uncommon for someone of Bissonnette’s disposition to contemplate or orchestrate mass shootings. Since the attacks of September 11, 2001, white supremacists and other non-Muslim extremists have carried out nearly twice the number of murders as jihadist terrorists, according to a recent study published by a Washington-based research center.

On Monday, White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer condemned the Canadian mosque shootings as “a terrible reminder of why we must remain vigilant, and why the President is taking steps to be proactive.” Critics of the new administration questioned how the premeditated slaughter of praying Muslims by a white, Christian Trump supporter proved the need to ban people of the Islamic faith from entering the country.

The answer, though nuanced, was delivered by the National Rifle Association’s (NRA) Grant Stinchfield. While hosting an episode of his show on NRATV, Stinchfield said the immigration restriction “is about religion” because “all radicalized terrorists are Muslim.”

The key to understanding this statement, acting President Steve Bannon explained, lies in examining the two other most prominent monotheistic religions: Judaism and Islam. Unlike Jews, who do not accept Jesus as anything other than a dead troublemaker, Muslims actually incorporate Christ into their teachings. The Qur’an makes numerous references to Jesus in a favorable light:

“When the angels said, ‘O Mary, ALLAH gives thee glad tidings of a son through a word from HIM; his name shall be the Messiah, Jesus, son of Mary, honoured in this world and in the next, and of those who are granted nearness to God.’”

“Behold! the angels said, ‘Oh Mary! God gives you glad tidings of a Word from Him. His name will be Christ Jesus, the son of Mary, held in honour in this world and the Hereafter, and in (the company of) those nearest to God. He shall speak to the people in childhood and in maturity. He shall be (in the company) of the righteous.’”

“God will teach him the Book and Wisdom, the Law and the Gospel.”

In Judaism, conversely, Jesus is typically regarded as one of the most damaging of all false messiahs. Judaism has never accepted any of the alleged prophecy fulfillments attributed by Christianity to Jesus. Judaism further forbids the worship of a person as a form of idolatry, because the central tenet of Judaism is the absolute unity and singularity of God. So accepting Jesus as God would constitute a sin.

Given Judaism’s antithetical stance toward Christianity, and Islam’s surprising harmony with it, confusion has arisen. “A lot of folks, when they come to recognize the ideological alliance between Muslims and Christians, wonder why we aren’t exterminating Jews or booting them out of the country,” Bannon said. “The Germans tried. Six million times. The results were stunning. But because of some sticky political plate juggling, the United States had to interfere with what I think was a really great start.”

Bannon also noted that the genocide process became unwieldy, overly bureaucratic and messy. “And in the end, the Jews didn’t resist or fight back. They were sheep. Unclean, blasphemous sheep. But once we gave them Israel, they started wiping out Muslims. So now, the Jews are ultimately doing us a favor.”

Of course, the question remains: why Islam? Bannon said that because Jews have no belief in Jesus, they remove themselves from the grace of the true Lord, will burn in Hell for eternity and pose no existential barrier to Christians. Muslims, on the other hand, are essentially competing with Christians for a spot in the paradise hereafter. They have proven themselves to be aggressive warriors. Bannon reminded reporters that ISIS has killed many more Muslims than Christians.

“But the real threat to us,” Bannon noted, “is that Muslims flirt with the idea that some divinity surrounds Jesus, but they won’t go so far as to admit that He is God. It’s like a college girl experimenting with lesbianism. She will probably go right back to men. She may call herself bi-sexual to sound hip. But all she’s done is wreak havoc and insecurity on men. She destroys their faith, erodes their trust. She also becomes an easier target for eventual conversion into full homosexuality, which is the ruin of the foundations of family. Islam is no different. Because of its deceptive similarities to Christianity, it runs a much greater risk of luring Christians into its fold.”

This brings Bannon to addressing the dilemma of how a white, Christian radical could legitimately be labeled a Muslim. His logic is that any Christian extremist who carries out a massacre is not truly adhering to the teachings of Christ.

“He believes in Jesus, praises Jesus and perceives Jesus as a powerful and holy figure -- but he has also defied the Lord Jesus by committing an atrocious sin,” said Bannon. “So what are you if you embrace Christ yet don’t fully honor Him as God? A Muslim. This is why Mr. Bissonnette, and other radicalized terrorists like him, can be called Muslim.”

Enhanced Immigration Bans

Bannon reiterated on Tuesday that the current travel restrictions are intended to single out only countries that can be classified as harboring radical Muslims, by Bannon’s somewhat unorthodox definition. Canada, right now, is no exception.

“After what happened in Quebec, and because their prime minister is throwing open the doors for dangerous immigrants, you can bet Canada will be included in the ban soon,” Bannon said. “Our goal is to protect American values and interests. Eventually, the lockdown will be more sweeping. We simply can’t afford to let our guard down. Look, both of Donald Trump’s parents immigrated to this country. And Donald Trump is undoubtedly one of the most terrifying, dangerous, radicalized, extremist Muslims, by our new official designation, this nation has ever seen. Anyone supporting him from abroad should be deemed a high-profile threat.”

Bannon indicated that the ban would evolve to include other worrisome non-Christians, citing Trump’s call to block a U.N. resolution that denounced Israel’s construction of Jewish settlements on the West Bank.

“If the Jews don’t stop breeding and building Jewish places for their spawn, they may have nowhere else to go,” Trump told U.N. members in December. “That means they’ll move back to Europe and America, taking over banks and movie studios and everything else they can get their grubby cash-hungry hands on.”

(c) 2017. Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License. All articles are works of satire. See disclaimers.